


"We need to talk"

by Miss_Von_Cheese



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Romance, h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 09:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Von_Cheese/pseuds/Miss_Von_Cheese
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Listen Steve, I could have operatives following you, I could use all my connections to know precisely what’s wrong with you but I don’t want to do it like an agent. I… I just want you to tell me the truth.” - Seriously though, why did Steve spend his last sunday afternoons with Tony? Phil just wanna know...</p>
            </blockquote>





	"We need to talk"

Phil swallowed his piece of heavily cheese coated bread, simultaneously swallowing back his tears of frustration. This fondue didn’t taste as good as the very first they had shared together more than eight months ago. 

 

Everything he could wish for was here, it was his Stevie after all, sharing a romantic lunch with him in their kitchen bathed in the warm light of a dozen candles, but he felt bad. Scared and sad as a little boy. He didn’t want to attack directly, he wasn’t ready to take the bull by the horns yet he had to know; he couldn’t spend another night wondering, desperately awake next to Steve who slept so peacefully. Phil studied his lover’s face for a while. He was as cute, as handsome, as open as he had always been, enjoying his cheese with a childish smile, whispering all the romantic words he hadn’t dared to say during their previous fondue night; it was as if he had nothing to hide. Except that he did have secrets, the kind of hidden details that scared the hell out of Phil. Trying to ignore the lump in his throat, the agent put his fork down and said in a flat tone, staring blankly at the melting cheese:

“What is going on, Steve? Please tell me now…”

He could almost feel Steve startle on his chair. The soft voice he loved so much stuttered a puzzled “What?” and Phil bit his lower lip, feeling worse than ever. His cheeks were already burning with fear, he was probably red from the top of his head to the curve of his neck.

“Listen, I could have operatives following you, I could use all my connections to know precisely what’s wrong with you but I don’t want to do it like an agent. I… I just want you to tell me the truth.” he stated, a bit too aggressively, slowly looking up until he could see Steve’s perplex face across the table. The Captain looked genuinely disturbed by his tone and his accusations. 

“What are you talking about?” Steve replied with a frown that could have fooled Phil if he hadn’t seen what he’d seen.

“I am talking about the three last sundays, including today.” Phil sighed, wishing so much he didn’t have to say what he was about to, hoping he could just enjoy his fondue without this urge to cry and hit a wall with his bare fists. “For the third time you go out on a sunday afternoon, you supposedly “walk the dogs” for a good two hours and… I thought it was weird you didn’t want me to come but I supposed you wanted to run with them… that you, you worked out maybe or needed some time alone…” 

He made a short pause and for a split second, he could see a flash of sudden realization in Steve’s eyes, just like a guilt, a sight that left a nasty taste in his mouth. With a heavy sigh he continued:

“… I could have understood everything babe, almost everything but I don’t get it, I… it took me some time to remember that scent I could smell on you. I just… I don’t know what to think about it. I know it’s Stark’s cologne. Something by Jean-Paul Gaultier I think, I remember when Banner gave it to him I…” 

Phil rubbed his hands on his face with a desperate look, his heart pounding in his chest.

“And you know I would never doubt you, you know I trust you more than anyone Steve!” He had raised his voice without even wanting to. His boyfriend was looking at him with a silent frown. “But what the hell am I supposed to believe now? I would never forbid you to hang out with Stark so what’s going on? I don’t understand! Why do you lie to me? I just don’t get it… I can’t believe you’ve been pretending for three afternoons to go out by yourself when you were with Stark and… gosh Steve, I really don’t care about what you do! Except that you’re lying! And if there’s one person in the world I thought incapable of lying it’s you! It’s like my… my whole world is falling apart. You? Hiding things from me? Tell me it’s not true!” 

Breathing heavily, Phil realized he was pointing at his own chest. He had formed words, sentences, a whole speech in his head before this evening but nothing came out as planned. He had almost shouted everything he had in mind and yet, he didn’t feel better. The taste on his tongue wasn’t gone. His heart was still racing, his fingers shaking. Phil didn’t know what to expect, he had thought about one thousand versions of the story, big arguments, hurtful revelations, a huge lover’s fight, broken plates and slammed doors. But he had not predicted the way Steve sadly looked down and whispered, almost begged in a soft voice :

“I’ll tell you all, Phil, I promise but please… please don’t yell at me. It hurts.”

The agent felt his heart crumble in his chest. Steve suddenly appeared so young and weak, dolefully looking at his plate like he had done something wrong. Phil wanted to slap himself, what an idiot! Why did he have to open his big mouth and hurt his lovely boyfriend so badly? It was Steve, why was he pissed at him, the boy with whom every night was a cuddle party, the man who held him in his arms every time he felt blue and who laughed at his stupid jokes? Phil pushed the pot away to take the large hero’s hands in his own, feeling sincerely sorry.

“Babe, excuse me I shouldn’t have. I… I just… I won’t do it again.” Phil promised, his voice trembling. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you, that was mean.”

With a sigh, Steve mumbled:

“I know you want to know what’s going on. I’m… I’m sorry I kept some things secret from you. It’s just… honestly babe, I am sorry, if I suggested we had a fondue tonight it’s only because… we need to talk.” 

We need to talk. Phil stared at his lover in horror, as shocked, as hurt as if the huge fists of his Captain had hit his solar plexus. He felt like he suddenly knew what it would be like to receive his indestructible shield right in the face. His breath caught in his throat, he could have cried, he could have screamed, he could have acted hurt if only his mind wasn’t so numb after these few words. We need to talk. So this was how it ended? A sweet, sweet dream brutally cut like the final scene of a sad romantic movie? Was it going to be so ridiculous? Phil didn’t feel the tip of his fingers against Steve’s anymore. He had trouble breathing, thinking, hoping. And as he desperately wanted to sound normal, as much as he wanted to bite back his words, Phil just croaked:

“Steve? Oh God no, please don’t leave… please… don’t… don’t leave me… tell me you won’t, oh fuck, please Steve, please… please…”

Phil barely realized how hard he was grabbing the soldier’s big paw, he just felt his cheeks burning, the hot tears in his eyes, the bitter taste in his throat and even though he knew how pathetic he probably looked, begging like a child no to be abandoned, he couldn’t help himself. 

“I don’t know what I’ve done,” he sobbed, his fingers clenching hard on Steve’s hand. “I don’t know why but… I’ll figure it out.. we’ll find a way just don’t… please, don’t leave I can’t… you’re the best thing that happened to me… I don’t wanna lose you, not now! Oh please, please… please.”

His voice broke and he coughed softly. He could not believe it, he didn’t want to even imagine it. What kind of story was that? Steve was saved from the ice, the great Captain America, hero of his childhood, resuscitated and loved him, and cared for him, and it was as if his life was complete until it stopped. So suddenly, for no good reason. It could not happen. And as he was losing it, one tear away from a massive break down on the kitchen table, Phil felt a strong grasp on his weak shaking hand. Steve almost pulled him up on his feet before taking him in his arms. Phil moaned, holding back bitter tears; he couldn’t really breathe but Steve was crushing him against his large torso and hugging him like a dangerous bear, loving, caring, puzzled and terrified by his panic, and everything was normal again. 

“What… what do you say, love? I am n… not leaving you!” Steve stammered, holding Phil tightly against his chest. “I can’t leave you, I won’t… never! How could I? I love you. Why do you think I would? You are the best thing that ever happened to me! Phil, please… why do you… say such awful things?”

“You said we “needed to talk”!” the agent replied, tilting his head back to look at his tall boyfriend with red puffy eyes. “You said it like it’s serious, just when you spent the last three sundays with someone else… and you’ve been lying about it…” 

Phil leaned his forehead in the center of the massive chest, right between two buttons of the plaid shirt he liked so much. At this point all he wanted was to hear Steve make fake excuses, pretend to believe him and keep going. Why should he care, he was an old man living with a young stallion, a hero the whole world wanted in their bed, so what if Steve wanted to spend time with Stark doing… whatever it was? Who was he to forbid Steve from dating or even shagging someone else? Was he really entitled to let him ruin his life by being faithful to a boring old dude in tailored suits? He could just close his eyes and enjoy whatever small attentions Steve was kind enough to give him. 

“I am so sorry I neglected you lately” whispered the soft voice against his ear. “This was not what I wanted, things did not really go as planned. But if I had known it would hurt you so much I would have spent every minute, every second of our weekends with you. Yes, I lied to you and I swear to God it was the hardest thing I had to do in my whole life.” 

Steve cupped Phil’s cheek, tenderly forcing him to look up. He planted warm kisses on his brow, his cheekbones, his nose, not daring to touch his lips with his betraying mouth. 

“I was with Stark,” he confessed after a few seconds, looking down. “I just wanted to make you, to make us happy and I… I hope I didn’t mess it up. I knew I wasn’t good at this, I didn’t realise I was that terrible..” 

Phil was lost in a surreal situation. He didn’t understand, he didn’t know what to think, what to believe when Steve stepped back. Shyly, almost clumsily the tall soldier got a ridiculously small box out of his pocket and, looking up to him like he was his sun, his light in the dark, he put a knee on the floor. Phil’s heart almost ached in his chest. His cheeks were heated, it was suddenly too hot in the room. It was all happening in slow-motion like in some bad romantic movie but Phil would have stopped time if he could, not sure he was ready to hear his lover’s words. Steve opened the small jewel case to reveal a thick but pretty silver ring and asked with his small childish smile, full of hope and dreams:

“Will you marry me, Phillip?” 

The room started spinning around him, Phil felt nauseous, something hard hit his head and all of a sudden everything turned black. 

Some time later, seconds, minutes or hours he didn’t know, Phil woke up against Steve’s shoulder, held by two strong arms. He guessed he was carefully placed on the couch, his head still spinning and his stomach about to reject all the cheese he had just eaten yet he felt safer than ever. Steve ran to the kitchen and swiftly came back with a wet cloth, puzzled and concerned, looking at him in a way that made Phil terribly guilty for having doubted his feelings. 

“Are you okay?” Steve whimpered while refreshing his face with the cloth. “I’m gonna call the doctor, your head hit the table when you fell. You scared me so much, love!”

“I’m fine” assured Phil with a faint smile. He tried to get up but Steve’s strong hands kept him in place.

“I don’t think so, don’t move. This is crazy… you just fainted for no reason, I thought you did a check-up last friday for the SHIELD?” the big soldier frowned and Phil couldn’t help but smile at his innocence. “How do you feel? Can you touch your nose? Don’t move your head too much, how many fingers do you see?”

Phil frowned at the huge hand in front of him. “I see three fingers up and two down. And love, if you had been proposed by your idol, the greatest hero of all times, don’t you think you would have fainted too?” he smiled weakly, hoping his humor could prove Steve he was okay. He already started to feel better except on the right side of his brow where he would probably have one hell of a bump in a few minutes. He wrinkled his nose, inhaling deeply.

“Something’s burning!” he stated one second before Steve ran to the kitchen and put out the fire under the pot. Phil used this spare time to weakly sit up on the couch. His legs were still wobbling a bit but he managed to find a good balance and a comfortable position. What a night! He didn’t even know what it was about anymore. Steve came back with a glass of fresh water that Phil joyfully gulped like it was the best medicine, and his tiny jewel case covered in red velvet. He sat down on the coffee table, hesitantly opening then closing the box with an embarrassed smile.

“You don’t have to reply right now. You don’t… you don’t even have to say yes, you know.” Steve shrugged, blushing. “I just hope I didn’t ruin everything with my lies and that you’ll forgive me. But I know I will need much more than a stupid ring to get you to trust me again.” 

Phil couldn’t believe him, nor any second of what had just happened. To forgive him? To trust him? How could he do otherwise? He let himself fall forward, landed into Steve’s strong arms and let out an exhausted sigh against his neck. 

“Gosh yes I want to marry you, you dummy! I want to be your husband and partner, and lover until the end.” He punctuated his sentence with a lot of light kisses on Steve’s perfect skin, not daring to leave the safe spot that was the crook of his neck. 

“You do? Really?” Steve smiled, holding him like a plushie against his torso. 

Phil looked at him incredulously. His handsome and oh so naive boyfriend was he really serious? He hesitated for a while, looking in the deep blue eyes that stared at him, they were full of hope and love like those of a teenager in front of his first crush. So, tired of struggling to find a good reply, Phil kissed him softly and Steve melted against him, offering him his lips, his tongue and his warm mouth as a proof of his regrets. 

“What about Stark?” Phil asked, reluctantly breaking the kiss. “He… I mean, I know there’s nothing between you two but just… ok nevermind, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I trust you sweetheart.”

Steve smiled, an amused sparkle in his eyes. He opened the jewel case once again, removing the ring from his satin folds.

“It’s vibranium” he explained quite proudly. “I harassed Tony for weeks, asking him to find another source of vibranium or, at least, use a bit from my shield to make it for you. You’re my number one fan, you shouldn’t have to settle for gold or silver.” 

Hesitantly, Steve took Phil’s hand like it was more precious than the ring. He blushed, deliciously awkward, apparently not sure if he could allow himself to put the ring on Phil’s finger. His favorite agent was stunned though, processing the information as fast as he could despite the thousands of emotions going through his brain right now. 

“Vibranium? B… but… it’s too much, it’s way too much!” Phil blushed, his hand shaking between Steve’s fingers. “You should have kept it for yourself, for your shield or… to make weapons or…”

Gently brushing his cheek, Steve smiled. “Trust me, both Stark and I were really happy to use all his fancy technology to create a symbol of love, not a weapon or some defensive item. Look, there are two stars engraved on the side, like… it’s you and me, you know.”

He paused for a second then, looking up to Phil with the same bright hopeful eyes as before he repeated, holding his hand: 

“Will you marry me, Phillip?”

And it sounded like he had practised a thousand times by himself. Phil chuckled, biting his lower lip. He whispered a solemn “Yes” that made his boyfriend blush and finally, taking the leap, Steve put the incredibly soft ring on his finger with a care that contrasted with his huge frame. Phil slowly moved his fingers, stretching them to adapt to the strange sensation. The vibranium was velvety and not cold, unlike other metals. Steve kissed his hand gentlemanly, almost as shy as the first time they had touched each other, before taking him in his arms, pulling Phil to sit him in his lap, begging for a real kiss. His lover was more than happy to oblige and they soon began to whisper sweet words against each other’s lips, hugging, caressing and touching what they could. Phil arched when the strong hands possessively grabbed the small of his back. His heart had managed to find a normal rate again but he felt a bit overwhelmed by happiness. Steve asking to marry him, proving him once more that he loved him, wanted him, unable to hide his desire. 

“You know what? I think we should both call in sick tomorrow and stay home…” Steve suggested with a cheeky grin.

“Oh, and what for?”

Steve lowered his voice, slightly blushing at the naughty words he couldn’t have said to anyone but Phil. “I want my fiancé to make me bite my pillow and break our headboard…”

“Break the headboard, once again?” Phil sighed, faking annoyance. “Why do we need it anyway?” He ran his fingers into Steve’s hair before adding in a serious tone : “But that’s not possible, love. Now we have to wait until our wedding night, it’s more appropriate. No sex before marriage…” 

The look of disappointment on Steve’s face was so funny Phil couldn’t contain his laughter. He wrapped his arms around the strong neck, reassuring him by nibbling his earlobe and promising to grant his wishes way sooner than tomorrow. He was already conscientiously licking a wet path down his neck when their cell phones started ringing at the same time with a terrifying synchronization. Both hero and super agent looked in each other’s eyes with a “You gotta be kidding me” look. Couldn’t they have a quiet sunday evening at home after all these shenanigans? If the SHIELD called both of them at the same time though, it was not a good sign. It must have been really important. Steve stated, getting up without letting go of Phil who wrapped his legs around his waist:

“You stay here, I will let them know you can’t work, you just fainted it’s dangerous.”

“Don’t even think about it, love!” Phil replied with a grin. “I’m healthier than ever!”

 

Nobody said a word about the ring when the team gathered in the briefing room to listen to Fury’s instructions. Agent Hill gave Phil a discreet smile and Natasha raised an eyebrow, silently showing her appreciation. It was only when Tony reluctantly took the files Phil handed him that he noticed the ring on his finger and jumped to his feet, excited as a kid.

“Agent Coulson, what is that?” he asked, pointing a sassy finger at Phil who professionally kept his composure. “Wouldn’t it be a vibranium engagement ring? That I absolutely didn’t help creating and manufacturing, by the way. When’s the big day?”

“We haven’t decided yet, for a reason you can easily imagine.” Phil replied dryly. “Perhaps would we have had time to pick a date if we hadn’t been called to help fixing your mistakes.”

Phil’s tone was sharp but his eyes were smiling. Tony pretended to be shocked but more and more used to Coulson’s authority he started to open the folder and quickly read the report, even though being responsible for the evasion of one of the world’s most feared super villains he knew precisely what it was about. After a few minutes, while everybody was focusing on the information displayed on the SHIELD’s brand new screen, listening to Phil’s briefing, Tony cut him off:

“Did you like the ring, by the way? You’re gonna pick me as your best man, right?”

“You won’t be my best man just because you ask for it, Mr.Stark.” Phil sighed, rolling his eyes. “Can we go on, or do you…”

“Hey, I deserve it!”

“For making this beautiful ring I didn’t really want to talk about tonight?” replied the agent with a coy smirk, hardly hiding the fact he was proud as a peacock to wear the jewel. “I am very grateful, thank you very much, now we have a situation and…”

“I deserve it for dealing with your unbearable boyfriend!” Stark pouted while leaning against the back of his chair, crossing his legs in a very uncomfortable manner. “He was touching everything in my lab, he changed the design twelve times and kept on whining about the vibranium’s density…” 

Fortunately, Banner’s hand landing softly on his shoulder shut him off and Tony seemed to understand it wasn’t the right time to discuss such trivial matters. Steve bit his lower lip. He would probably ask Tony to be his best man, as annoying as the billionaire could be, he had proved himself a worthy man, almost a friend. He had been supportive when Steve had asked for an engagement ring, already planning the actual wedding rings at the same time and congratulating him between two “Don’t touch that, capsicle!”. Phil would probably ask his loyal friend Pepper. Lost in his thoughts, Steve stared blankly at Phil and Tony who were arguing about the whereabouts of the mission, barely even seeing them. All he could think about was his luck, the privilege he had to be loved by the agent despite his many mistakes. His fiancé headed to the back door of the meeting room, winking at him, making him feel butterflies in his stomach as usual. Steve waved him a shy goodbye before getting up. He was going to put on his suit, save the world… then come back and enjoy the promises Phil had made earlier. And it was going to be good.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the blog Ask Capsicoul on Tumblr (and they got married since, had a honeymoon in Ireland, etc... just drop by if you wanna know how they turned out! ^_~)...


End file.
